“Just pray about it” my mother said with a sigh. I can’t recall exactly what we were talking about as I rested on her bed, my forearm draped over my eyes which were probably wet from crying. I was somewhere between the ages of 14 and 17, in those most precarious teenage years, and I certainly did not appreciate my mom’s tendency to turn everything toward prayer. In fact, I’m sure I let her know just exactly how much I didn’t like her prayer advice a time or two. And I’m sure I was probably not kind in sharing my opinion. Oh, the ways we think we know everything as teenagers!
Now, as I look back at the many times my mother directed my attention toward prayer, I am deeply grateful. What I once perceived as her dismissing me in a “go talk to your (heavenly) Dad” fashion, I now realize was her inviting me into a relationship with God that would surpass time and space – a relationship that would meet my needs in ways she couldn’t, in ways nobody else can. She planted many little seeds and showed me how to tend to a fruitful prayer life. Learning how to tend to this garden of prayer is an ongoing process, one that I’m sure will continue throughout my life.
“Pray without ceasing!” – I Thessalonians 5:17. This well-known scripture verse is one of my favorites and yet, I often find myself doing everything except for praying. When faced with situations that are uncomfortable, scary, or painful, I feel that rebellious teenage spirit bubbling up and get annoyed at the thought of prayer. “Do I really have to pray about this?” I quip to myself. And so, I distract myself with Netflix or playing with the dog. Or I try to control the situation through human means. Or I reach out to a friend to vent and get advice. Or I reorganize my cabinets and drawers again. The list could go on. I do everything but follow my mother’s sage advice – for a while. But our God is a good and persistent God, and he never stops pursuing us. So, after I try distraction after distraction, human solution after solution, and I still don’t feel better, He gently says “just talk to me.” And when I finally do, I wonder why still at 29 years old, I don’t just listen to my mother.
“In prayer, the soul is purified from sin, charity is nurtured, faith takes root, hope is strengthened, the spirit gladdened. In prayer the soul melts into tenderness, the heart is purified, the truth reveals itself, temptation is overcome, sadness is put to flight. In prayer, the senses are renewed, lukewarmness vanishes, failing virtue is reinvigorated, the rust of vices is scoured away; and in this exchange, there come forth living sparks, blazing desires of heaven, in which the flame of divine love burns.”
– St. Lawrence Justinian.
This quote from St. Lawrence Justinian gives us a glimpse of the riches that await us in prayer. When we trust for just a moment that God wants to hear us and speak to us, that he wants to know the desires of our hearts, the things that pain us, the fears we hold deep inside, we enter this beautiful space in which He does the work that only He can do. In prayer, God offers us so much more than our human minds can even perceive. Prayer is where the human heart and the heart of God meet.
Although we can’t turn back time, something we should probably be grateful for, I do wish I could revisit my teenage self and tell her “Mom is right.” Had I only known the great things that awaited me in prayer, I like to think I might have been less resistant to my mom’s advice. Maybe knowing a foretaste of what God offers in prayer would have inspired me to pray more often. Then again, judging by my hill-and-valley journey of prayer as an adult, maybe this journey of learning to turn to God in prayer is unfolding exactly how God intends, and is helping me become the person who He created me to be.
I invite you to read St. Lawrence Justinian’s quote above again. As you do, are there things that he lists that you desire? Do you yearn for renewed hope or stronger faith? Do you wish you could quit struggling with the same habitual sins? Do you long to trade your tears for rejoicing? What would it look like to trust God for just a moment, and enter your garden of prayer? What might it be like to allow Him to work on these things in you?
Perhaps your garden of prayer looks a bit like mine – imperfect with some weeds that need to be pulled and some plants that look a little thirsty. Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking “I can’t remember the last time I prayed” or “I would love to pray but I’m so busy” or “I have a solid prayer routine, but I want to go deeper.” If you’re feeling God nudging your heart toward tending your garden of prayer today, consider joining us for the upcoming Women at the Well Retreat. We’ll be focusing on the book “Thirsting for Prayer” by Father Jacques Philippe. You can find more information about the retreat here: Retreat (womenatwell.org)
Note from the Author: This blog post was originally written for Women at the Well and was published on their blog in September of 2022. Women at the Well is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting and empowering Catholic women to grow in Faith + Community. Women at the Well has been such a blessing in my life. Check them out at Women at the Well to find out how you can bring Women at the Well to your parish!
